bathing suit shopping

as I get older, shopping for bathing suits makes me feel like a military strategist - "okay, the real trouble spots are here and over here, let's make sure we've got those well-camoflauged. we'll need extra coverage in the rear, it's a pretty wide area with a lot of potential problems. this middle part here is a hotbed of rebel activity, there's no telling what might happen there, let's just try to control it the best we can and hope we don't draw attention to ourselves."